Random. Cuz its some stuff that are compiled together.

i know by saying this... you'll react by saying sorry, trying to be better, wanting to change and finding other options to handle it... but im telling you straight that i want things to stay how they are... i like it this way... im comfortable with it... if your not.. tell me... i promise you ill make you feel comfortable... now this is totally random and it came from everywhere... so dont have a narrow mind..

Voice: hey there.
Me: hey.
Voice: do you know what are you going thru?
Me: why dont you tell me?
Voice: you msg in school. you keep her close. you never leave the phone unattended at all. all you do is stick to the phone.
Me: is that bad?
Voice: what do you think? i dont like you msging in church. i dont like you sticking wit your phone during my lessons. i dont like you using the phone when your eating. everything has its time and place.
Me: it does? then im telling you straight im keeping her with me. i dont care.
Voice: you play dota, your with the phone. you try to sleep and your still with the phone. why do you do that. why dont you tell her that you want to stop and rest?
Me: i dont want to. i cant afford that.
Voice: you cant afford that? are you thinking properly?
Me: why? do i sound childish?
Voice: yes. you act childish too.
Me: im dissapoint everyone. including you uh? i am thinking properly and i cant afford to stay away cuz thats all i freaking got.
Voice: oh really? why say so? hmm?
Me: there's not a single person in my head that i could go to comfortably. everyone has their own stuff to do. own time to spend. better person to spend with. more important things to attend. i need her like my only type of medication that keeps me in one piece.
Voice: so what bout your studies? hmm? day in day out. i ask you to study and what do you do? 20% studies 50% games and the rest on music. what is gonna happen in your future?
Me: all i know for sure. god will be with me. so as she.
Voice: how do you really know she wont leave you? hmm? the option for her to just pull the plug with you is there. she can do it anytime anyday whenever she wants.
Me: im just putting all my trust and faith into her. who else can i put all those into? plus. things with her aint small puppy stuff. i know the risk of her pulling the plug anytime is there but i choose not to see it.
Voice:hmm.. do you know i always want the best for you?
Me: i do. although it doesnt show on your face cuz its always so serious i do.
Voice: do you know you can be a very good servant of god?
Me: i do. but then again.. i still want her very very close..
Voice: you say you love her. you like her so much. but its very amusing to me that you're always hyper and happy whenever you're going to see her or just met her. but when its time to go. you bleed. and bleed. and you try. so hard not to project it.
Me:i cant help it. who can? izznt this what you call long distance relationship?
Voice: think. keep thinking. dont stop. always keep your head together.
Me: go away. i only want to fill my darn brain up with her. all i think about is how do i get to see her. again and again and again.
Voice: think.





why. why do you always say that your not good enough. why is it that you think your not good enough. even when you're with me. why am i so good and perfect thru your eyes? why am i different? why does it hurt so bad? why must parents always screw up my day? why must they make days that suck even more suck-ier? why cant i see you everyday? why cant i be the bad guy? why am i always the one hearing you cry? why am i the one pushing you to work harder indirectly? why do you put up with me? why am i running out of cash? why am i so in love? why must life make it so so difficult? why must you be strong and just take everything? why dont you express every single thing instead? why cant things be easier? why am i like this? are you having difficulties in the relationship? do you always have to be strong? do you need time for yourself? do you need me to be less sticky? do you want me to be more loose? sigh. im sorry. it hurts so so so os very much. can you come patch it up and stop it once and for all? i wish i could see you asap. i miss you. ill never stop loving you. ever.