Upsets In Life...

finally? i came to blog? hmmm.... to be honest... i just come to blog just to throw out my feelings i guess? since nobody ever comes to read it... ppl just come , post something at my cbox which is so cacat... then ciao... so bloggin is the only place i feel good enough throwing things out... i dont feel right telling these to my friends... might become a nagger to them... aihhhhh

why must parents be parents? my dad keep on saying... Ruben be a grown boy la... dont just look mature but think still like a child you want ppl to repect you right... then few days later he come complaining to me bout his job or my mom... i cant really say anything... plus whenever he's giving advice... or just saying anything for that matter... he'll sure end up talking in a very angry tone as though as im the one wrong... then when i speak back... he say... eh you got no respect for me ah... your now trying to defend yourself and not admit that your wrong okay... dont think your a know it all... this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME ...! IM SO F**KING SICK OF IT... im forced to be a block of wood saying yes yes yes and agree-ing to no matter what my parents complain to me about... how's that nice !

then there's this one day... i wanted to go out with my friends... since i tak dapat tengok muke dia dah lama... could have been nice to just see her and her friends again rite? so i asked my mom... can i follow or not... she say... No cannot... stay at home study... dont kacau ppl fetch you here and there... then i pulak senyap... dont want to make so much noise till my dad gets involve so... tak pe la... since i figured out they goin mid valley last minute... or plus maybe i dont know them that well? they just want to spend a girl's day out or something or they dont want me around...? AH tak tau larh... so i leave it... then i wanted to go to sunday youth that same day... asked my mom... mom said no lahhhh dont go la... stay at home study... just one more month only what.... so okay fine... pmr... study lorr..... aihhhhh then around 4pm... my friend from aus i think... called me... asked me to go jusco.... then now i try ask my dad... dad say no lah im tired and you better dont waste your time la go study better.... then im like... wehhh he come down from aus larrr... then my dad goes like... YOU WANT GO IZZIT OK GO... LET GO... I DONT CARE WHAT HAPPEN... YOU WANNA GO SO BADLY RITE GO AND DONT COME BACK.... so i didnt go... called my friend say i not free...

i know lar... there's nice ppl there i kenal... but i dont really feel rite telling them all these... no point also... another thing... dont know how many ppl notice this but i seem to mix a lot with ppl older than me... like 17 ke 18 ke 19 or 20+.... really really weird... so i pulak like them... take lots of interest in them... but i guess it doesnt show? i feel they treat me as a 15 yr old just cuz my parents still have rules... and they'll get really mad and make the nicest outting days turn into the regrettin that i go out days... they say they wanna treat me like and adult... thats soooo much bull...
and also... these days ive been really trying to fit in with ppl... i dont think thats working out rite... so might as well stick to the same friends?... ISHHH dont know lar ! i want to mix around but im just not fitting in...? ohyeaaa..... to anyone around my age or feels the need to keluar with friends rite... when they say " Next time we ajak you go out with us again okay? " Trust me ppl ! it will never ever happen... till a very long time... then it baru happens... the thing is... is either they just wanna spend time together , dont want you/me around , or they memang not free cuz your life izznt the same as theirs.... when they are free your busy studying... when you are free... they got exams.... so all we/I can do is just wait... wait very very patiently till it comes again... by then... i dont know what to do then to live in music.... well errr if anyone does read this or anything... post either in the comments or cbox lar... thx... ( PS just letting go how irritated i feel thats all )